Surviving Broken Page 5

  “I suggested you come home because it was the right thing to do. Quitting your job at the vineyard wasn’t fair to the Giovanni’s or Vincent. It was your choice, but I don’t believe in burning bridges.”

  “Do you love me?”

  Her heart slammed against her chest and she cringed at the fully loaded question.

  JC turned to face him, but her gaze fell to his shirtfront. She wanting him to comprehend the feeling she could not put in plain words. “I’m not sure what love is Luca. It has nothing to do with you. It’s my head that struggles. Staying with you for the last few months is a big deal for me, but it’s also very confusing,” she whispered, easing her conscious.

  His eyes glazed with passion and anger, kissing her roughly, shoving his tongue into her mouth aggressively. “Ti amo,” he said persuasively, tightening his fingers securely around her wrist, yearning to hear the words returned.

  “I missed you,” she managed to say feebly.

  ****

  The next few weeks flew by. Dan landed her a Vodka commercial and JC was thrilled to be working again. The producer was turning a ski slope into an outdoor nightclub for the shoot, and they were waiting for a break in the bad weather. JC pushed back her flight to Colorado until two days before Christmas. Luca began filming and was unable to get away. He asked her repeatedly to stay home with him. Each time she responded, I’d love to Luca, but…., his agitation grew, verging on the brink of incensed desperation at times.

  JC sidestepped the subject of Christmas as much as possible hoping to avoid another confrontation. She found herself avoiding phone calls from her family in front of Luca and hiding gifts she’d picked out for Thomas and Richard. In JC’s book of rules, honesty was always the best policy and the guilt of being sneaky weighed on her heavily.

  Finding the perfect gift for her mother proved to be a challenge this year for JC. The only thing Tess Clemmins ever truly wanted for Christmas was her family huddled around the fireplace, gathered at the dinner table, snuggling on the couch or skiing on the slopes. This year, it might be the only present her mom received.

  Out of options, she rented a car and drove to Milan. After hours of driving, unsuccessful shopping and growls coming from her hungry tummy, she headed for her favorite restaurant. It was late in the day and to JC’s famished disappointment, the trendy bistro bustled with patrons. Taking in the unexpected line, she observed pink-cheeked customers whispering and taking pictures with their cell phones. Following the direction of their aim, she raised up on her tippy-toes spotting the familiar profile of a jaw-dropping blond man seated at a table in the far corner.

  JC huffed out a chuckle murmuring, “No wonder there’s a line.” Making her way through a group of giddy women, she dug through her purse for a pen and gave a cordial nod to the burly bodyguard standing with his arms folding across his chest. Approaching the table, JC held out a pen and cleared her throat. “Excuse me Mr. Levi, can you sign this?”

  Recognizing her voice, Benny Levi’s pale blue eyes twinkled roguishly, flashing a brilliant white smile. “Anything for you.” Rising to his feet, Benny clasped her shoulders and brushed a social kiss over her temple. He motioned for her to join him at the table. “What’s my favorite niece doing in Milan?”

  “Last I heard Tracy was your favorite niece!” JC let out a sarcastic laugh as she slid into the booth, tucking her long caramel locks behind her ear. “I’m attempting to find a Christmas gift for my Mom, but no luck as of yet. Where are Lisa and the kids?”

  “They’re at home. Lisa and Kim are making extreme gingerbread houses and Tommy is snowboarding. He thinks he’s going to keep up with you this Christmas. I had a meeting this morning and I’m getting some last minute shopping done myself.” Benny glanced around at the commotion his presence created. “Obviously, I should’ve shopped online. I wore a ball cap earlier. It worked….for an hour.” Changing the subject he said, “We had dinner with your Mom and Tommy two weeks ago.”

  JC smirked sarcastically. “You thought one measly baseball cap would save you from these women, not to mention the paparazzi?” She nodded toward the window, catching a glimpse of a large camera pointed their direction. “I don’t know how you make it out the door of your house, seeing how you were just recently nominated Hollywood’s Hottest Couple!”

  “Thanks for leaving out the Over the Age of 50 category title.”

  “Well I didn’t want to rub it in, but seeing how you brought it up….I do see some chrome trim,” JC giggled, casually pointing to the gray peppering his dark blond hair.

  “I take it back. Tracy is my favorite niece. Smartass.” Small lines at the outside corner of his eyes deepened as he smiled. “Aren’t you usually home for Christmas by now? You are going to Colorado, aren’t you?”

  Benny wasn’t her uncle by blood, but he was Tom’s best friend for over twenty years. The Levi’s had been spending Christmas together at Tom and Tess’ cabin in Colorado for the last several years.

  “Of course I’m going home. I’m doing a commercial for Vodka on the slopes at Abetone and we’re waiting for the weather to cooperate. We’re scheduled to shoot tomorrow, if weather permits.”

  “Are you bringing Luca home for the holidays?” He probed with a wry smile.

  JC shook her head and Benny’s brow raised in surprise. “No. Luca’s working and they’re on a deadline so they only get the weekend off.”

  “I bet the cast loved that!”

  “Luca didn’t complain too much. It’s a dream come true.”

  JC ordered lunch. They caught up on family, movies, work and she sat through an excruciating game of twenty questions regarding Luca. When the second round of interrogation began, she leaned back, folded her arms and swore through pursed lips. “Seriously Benny? I’m not sixteen. What’s with the overprotective uncle attitude?” She faced the window, anxiously watching the growing crowd of spectators outside.

  “I’m prepping. Warming up. How else do you expect me to practice for when Kim starts dating?”

  “She’s twelve! I’m pretty sure you have a while before Kim starts dating. Oh my God, did Tom say something to you about Luca?”

  Benny shook his head too quickly. “No. Not at all. I was just curious about the guy who finally settled you down.”

  Her lip curled and a small groan climbed up her throat. “You are a terrible liar! And I’m not settled down. I’m hanging out. Visiting. That’s all.”

  He patted her hand that rested on the table. “Tommy’s a little worried about you. I heard about the whole Thanksgiving fiasco.”

  She shook her head in annoyance, “Ooo that man-”

  “That man loves you like you’re his own daughter.”

  She smiled knowing it was true. “Yeah I know.”

  After finishing their meal, he placed his napkin on the table. “I’ve gotta get going.”

  “It’s going to be a zoo outside. Can you leave first? I’ve been avoiding paparazzi like the plague for the last year,” she grumbled.

  “Sorry squirt. They’re gonna wait for you to come out anyway. You might as well get it over with. I’ll give you a ride to your car.” He stood, motioning for her to exit in front of him.

  “Shit. I never should’ve stopped to talk to you. What the hell was I thinking?” She begrudgingly stood up. “I’ll follow you.”

  “You were thinking, It’s my awesome uncle Benny who I haven’t seen since Tracy’s wedding. I should stop to say hi. Especially since I haven’t come to visit lately! Come on, it’s not that bad outside.”

  She only growled in response, following behind Benny and his bodyguard and another man she hadn’t noticed lingering at the front of the bistro. JC shook her hair free from behind her ear, letting the long waves cascade down over part of her face.

  The sun had set and the all-too-familiar flashes of the paparazzi camera’s popped like strobe lights. Onlookers yelled out Benny’s name hoping to get a good photo. She bowed her head, staring at the back of his heels until they
reached the car.

  Benny asked pulling up to her Ford Hybrid, “Is this yours?”

  “No. It’s a rental. I’m keeping it for the week, so I can drive it up to Abetone for the shoot tomorrow. I’ll drop it off at the airport when I leave. I kinda like it. Good for the earth as my Momma would say.” JC smiled, “Thanks for lunch. Tell your boy I said he’s delusional. I’m still gonna kick his butt snowboarding. Say hi to Lisa and Kim for me.”

  “See you in a few days.”

  ****

  Shoot is on! Be there by 3:00pm! DO NOT BE LATE!

  Tossing her phone on the bedside table, JC jumped out of bed and did a little happy dance around the room. She couldn’t wait to leave for Colorado the following morning. It would be late when she returned after filming the commercial in Abetone. JC didn’t want to pack in front of Luca, so she packed her suitcase and tucked it into the corner of the closet.

  The shoot went perfectly. JC thought the producer was sheer genius. He filmed everyone in muted colors of black, white or gray against the stark white snow shadowed by precise lighting. They lined the bar with bottles of the red-labeled Vodka, added funky music and a roaring fire. Voila! Fabulous shoot.

  It was nearly midnight when she returned to Luca’s. Trudging up the steps to his apartment, she quietly opened the door. JC flipped the third light switch, illuminating the soft lighting under the kitchen cabinets. Dropping her purse to the floor beside the couch, she pulled off her boots and proceeded into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

  Something at the end of the hall caught her eye and she stopped doing a double take. “Oh shit,” she muttered staring at her suitcase.

  “Oh shit is right. Where were you yesterday?” Luca demanded harshly from the darkness of the living room.

  JC lurched, startled by the enraged tone of his voice, coming from the chair behind her. “Jesus Luca! You scared the crap out of me! I didn’t even see you sitting there.”

  He crossed the room in a few long strides, standing over her aggressively, seizing her by the arm. “I said, where were you yesterday?”

  She backed away from him, shuddering at the sight of his dark eyes sunken into the hollows of his pale face. She twisted her arm, attempting to free it from his tightening grip. “Luca, you’re hurting me.”

  “I don’t fucking care! I’m gonna ask you one more time. Where were you yesterday?”

  JC heartbeat thrashed in her chest as her mind searched over the day before, wondering what on earth could make him so mad. He gripped both her arms, shaking her so violently that her head snapped back smacking against the wall behind her.

  “Ouch, hey, knock it off!” She shrieked, jerking side to side, shoving frantically at his powerful hands. “What the hell is wrong with you? Let me go!”

  Luca pinned her against the wall. One fist firmly clutched the material of her shirt and his other twisted into the hair at the nape of her neck, yanking her head to the side. “Do you know what I had to listen to all…day…long?” he screamed in her face.

  Tears of anger, fear and pain streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head, struggling to get free. He pulled her hair harder, making her wince.

  “You were gone all day yesterday! I got to work this morning, and do you know what I saw? You…kissing Benny Levi!”

  Her heart pounded in her chest. “I went to-”

  “Shut-up you fucking whore.”

  Her lip twitched. A defensive rage exploded in every fiber of her being. “Get your hands off me. Fuck you Luca. I wasn’t kissing…”

  JC’s head cracked hard against the wall, filling her ears with the sound of white noise. A thin layer of sweat broke over her skin as adrenaline coursed through her. She didn’t realize until she felt the burning sting on her cheek and the taste of blood in her mouth, that Luca had hit her.

  “Some asshole posted pictures of you and Benny all over the set. He was kissing you! You were fucking smiling and laughing and letting him touch your ass as you slid into his car,” he seethed. Spit projected from his mouth. “How do you think I felt seeing that shit all day long? They made a fucking joke out of it! You embarrassed me in front of the entire cast. They laughed at me!”

  JC slumped back against the wall for support. To her own amazement, she cried out with the overwhelming urge to justify herself, “I didn’t kiss him, not like that. Benny’s like my uncle. He’s family to me.”

  As the word family left her lips, Luca’s taut jaw flexed clenching his teeth. His eyes turned black as he dropped his hands to his sides. Thinking it was over, she stepped toward the hall, cradling her left arm.

  “You bitch! Benny Levi is your family?” He circled around her, labored breathing filled the silence. “Did you screw him yesterday? I saw the way you looked at him at Tracy’s wedding.”

  “What? No!” she shrieked in disgust.

  Luca pounded his fist against his chest. “I’m your family!” he growled, slapping her hard in the face again, calling her awful names in Italian.

  Pain and terror heightened her perception. Time slowed to a crawl as her heartbeat pounded in painful beats with the ringing in her ears. With no other options, she backed down the hall into the bedroom, countering his every movement.

  Luca charged toward her, “Where do you think you’re going? You’re not leaving me!” He lunged again, tackling her onto the bed. She struggled and shoved at him, begging him to stop, pleading for him not to hurt her. JC cried so hard, she couldn’t breathe.

  The instinct to survive kicked in.

  She stopped struggling and lay still, telling him the things he wanted to hear. “I’m not leaving you Luca. You are part of my family. I need you.” The idea of saying the words I love you made her want to puke. Sub-consciously she refused, only saying, “I care for you.”

  Staring past his hatred filled black eyes, she concentrated on the ceiling as Luca lay on top of her, burying his face in her hair, groping her breast.

  “You are my family. Ti amo, JC. I need you. Let me show you how much I love you.”

  The detestation in his eyes diminished, easing the tension in his face and replacing it with a dark hunger. She didn’t budge when he leaned to the side and opened the bedside table drawer grabbing a condom. Nor did she deny him when he ripped at her clothing, entering her without force and repeating the words, “I’m sorry. Ti amo. You made me so mad.”

  Tears soaked the pillow beneath her head as she lay still, letting him finish. Trembling beneath the weight of his body, JC couldn’t process the fact that she was in the middle of a real life nightmare. He lay wedged inside her, softly speaking in Italian, I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. His remorse-laden eyes stared down at her as if he were coming back into the scene of reality that lay beneath him. Rising over her onto his elbow, Luca caressed the skin beneath the ridge of her neckline. “I don’t know what happened. That won’t happen again. I’m sorry. I love you.”

  JC didn’t move until he rolled to his side and fell asleep. Her entire body ached as she carefully slipped out of bed and wobbled down the hall. Stepping into the hall bathroom, she examined the damage in the mirror. Her cheeks were red and swollen and a small cut near the corner of her eye. Tilting her head back, she gently opened her mouth to inspect the gash on the inside of her cheek. A drop of saline leaked from her eyes, stinging the cut beside her lashes.

  JC tiptoed into the kitchen for an icepack and three Advil. Her hand trembled violently reaching for an open bottle of wine on the counter. Lifting the bottle to her swollen lips, she washed down the pills with a long drink.

  Shaking from head to toe, she shuffled to the couch. Two crinkled pieces of paper lay on the coffee table. Holding the icepack against her swollen cheeks, she grunted leaning forward to grab the pictures.

  The average person might misconstrue the photo of Benny and JC caught in a warm embrace as that of lovers saying hello, but most people knew that was not the case. However, the paparazzi and media thrived on misconceptions. Glancing at t
he second photo, it appeared as if Benny had his hand on her ass as she climbed into the car in front of him. But in reality, Benny was about to rest his hand on her back. His hand was a foot away from her butt. Her blood boiled, knowing they shot the picture at a certain angle, purposely to fool people. She crumpled up the papers and threw them in the trash before lying back down on the couch with a blanket and falling asleep.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The sun peered through the window, Luca sat on the coffee table with his head in his hands. He acted contrite, apologizing repeatedly, begging for her forgiveness. He made her tea and got her an icepack.

  When he tried to stroke her arm, JC flinched, cowering out of Luca’s reach.

  Darkness flickered in his eyes.

  Her chest rose and fell in quick succession and she blinked back frantic emotions growing inside. Lowering her glance to the floor, she feared he might go berserk the way he had the night before.

  He pulled her shrinking body into his arms. Gently pressing his rigid lips to her badly bruised cheek, he whispered, “I’m gonna go find you a Christmas tree, okay?”

  The thing JC feared most, even more than Luca Santini, was the paparazzi, and he used it to his deranged advantage. He knew damn well she would never risk being spotted in public. She’d flown under the media radar for over a year. The photos of her with Benny meant they would be stalking her again.

  She nodded numbly, wondering Is he out of his fucking mind? Does he really think a tree is going to fix this?

  JC refused to leave the apartment, even if it meant staying with Luca over the holidays. Staring at her own beaten and bruised reflection in the mirror was humiliating enough, having it splashed across the cover of a rag magazine was not going to happen. She wouldn’t embarrass herself or disgrace her Mom and Tom with another scandal. Not again! No matter what the cost.

  After canceling her flight to Colorado, the first call she made was to her mother. JC lied, making up a bullshit explanation that she had the flu and wasn’t going to make it home for Christmas. Biggest rule breaker of all time, deceit. Diving further into the page of lies and betrayal, JC fibbed to her Mom again, saying she had another job starting the day after New Years, so she wouldn’t be able to fly to Colorado at all.