The Italian Read online

  Ignoring the sarcasm, Faith gushed, “I know I’ve already said thank you a thousand times, but thank you for helping me be a mommy.”

  “You’re welcome and I’ve already warned you that you’re indebted for life. Stop getting all mushy, okay. We’ve got to reign it in a little. I’m getting way too fucking soft.”

  “It’s probably your hormones. The book explains it in detail on page seven,” she sniffed.

  “Oh my God, you have the entire book memorized don’t you? I bet you even have those ridiculous color-coded tabs popping out all over the book.”

  Her sniffles turned to soft laughter. “Maybe. See you tomorrow. Love ya, sis.”

  “Love you too.”

  “To the moon and back,” they chimed in unison.

  Knock knock knock

  Hope peeled open her eyes hearing someone at the door. Lost in the blackness of the night, she stretched across the bed sending the purple paperback to the hardwood floor with a loud thud. She groped the surrounding mound of billowy sheets, struggling to find her phone in the dark room.

  Finding her cell, the illuminated screen read 2:32 and a dozen missed calls.

  Knock knock knock

  “Just a sec. I’m coming.” She planted her feet on the cool hardwood floor and crawled out of bed wearing pink flannel boxers and a matching tank top. Hands out straight, she cautiously made her way from the bedroom to the sitting room, flipping on several lights along the way.

  Placing the flat of her palms against the door, she raised to her tiptoes to look out the peephole. Hope recognized the tall man with grey hair, but couldn’t put a name to the face.

  “Hello?” Sleep still clung to her voice and her brain as she cracked the door open, leaving the chain in place.

  “Miss Tidwell?”

  “Yes.” Noticing the fireman uniform, Hope wondered if the resort was being evacuated for a nearby wildfire.

  “You may not remember me, but I’m Bryce Benson, the Battalion Chief at Riley’s station.”

  The introduction immediately connected the dots. She’d met Bryce and his wife at a surprise party Faith threw for Riley when he made Lieutenant. Panic knotted her stomach.

  Ignoring the trembling in her fingers, she worked to unchain the door. “Are you looking for Riley? I have their room number written down in my purse. Let me get it for you.”

  “May I come in, Hope? There’s been an accident.”

  A strange sensation, a hollow numbness, gathered in the pit of her stomach as she stepped aside, opening the door. His somber frown sent a cold rush down her throat, seizing her heart in a painful squeeze.

  “An accident?” she heard herself say in a stifled gasp.

  The Chief held out a hand toward the couch, indicating for her to sit. Hope stumbled backward, barely resting one cheek on the small sofa.

  “There was a fire at Sugar Pies.”

  “A fire?” Her voice dwindled to nothing, giving an icy chill to the uncomfortable silence suspended between them.

  “I’m sorry, Hope. There’s no easy way to say this, but the fire took two lives. Faith and Riley were killed in the fire.”

  Adrenaline fueled the pounding of her heart, the loud hammering filling her ears in a blood-rush. “No. That can’t be. I just talked to Faith. She was getting ready to leave for the airport. They’re here, in Napa.”

  She couldn’t see through the gush of tears pooling at her lashes, but felt the sofa compress beside her as he took her hands in his. Her body quaked and she began to sob.

  No! Not Faith. Please, God. Don’t take my sister. Please not Faith.

  “They didn’t make their flight. We’re waiting for the final report, but we believe there was a break-in while Faith was closing up the bakery. She hid in the back room and barricaded herself in.” He paused, clasping Hope by one shoulder as if preparing her for the worst. “When the intruder realized there was a security camera, he lit the bakery on fire and ran. Your sister . . . she’d blocked the door with a huge freezer and a bunch of other equipment, but didn’t have the strength to move it once the smoke hit her. Riley got there before we arrived on scene. He tried to save her.”

  Both hands covered her mouth, slowly inching their way to her chest with each violent shudder of her shoulders. Flashes of Faith’s beautiful, white smile pulsed like a strobe light in her mind. Memory after memory, speeding by as if she were fast forwarding through her life.

  Hope’s entire life had just been ripped from her soul.

  Her sister was all she had.

  Faith was her everything . . . her family . . . her best friend.

  “I know it’s not much of a consolation, but we found them together. Riley managed to break through the door, but it was too late.” Bryce cleared the sentiment from his throat and continued, “He was incapacitated by smoke, but refused to leave her behind. He died thirty minutes later at the hospital.”

  Her heart broke, hit with intense sorrow. The sound of Faith’s sweet laughter, hauntingly beautiful, echoed in her ears with thunderous beats, as Hope recalled the last words her sister said to her. Love ya, sis.

  Oh, dear God. Did I tell her I loved her?

  Overcome by a cauldron of emotions, she swung her head wildly, strands of long golden hair sticking to her sopping face. Faith was one person in her life she could count on. For twenty-nine years she was the only person that Hope truly knew how to love.

  To the moon and back.

  Her final words jolted her into reality. “No. No. This can’t be happening.” Denial tore from her throat in broken fits. “They’re here. They’ve got to be here. Somebody else was in the bakery.”

  The entire world felt like it had just slipped off its axis. Every sound in the room fell away leaving nothing but the gust of her heavy breath, in and out. A painful burning sensation kindled in the center of her chest, fanning out across her torso and down each limb, rushing all the way to her toes.

  “You’re sure it was Faith? My Faith? You saw her with your own eyes?” she questioned, unable to grasp the reality.

  “Yes. I’m so sorry.”

  “No! No! Not Faith.” Her torn scream came in dry sobs, echoing through the noiseless room. Hope hinged forward, latching onto the man at her side. Bryce wrapped his long arms around her in a fatherly sort of way, rocking from side to side, allowing her to cry. Sharing in her grief, he stroked her back and told her how much he adored Faith and that Riley was like a son to him.

  She didn’t know how much time had passed before she found the strength to push herself from his shoulder. Her voice choked with emotions, asking, “Did they catch him? The bastard who did this? Did you find him?”

  “Yes. He’s gone, Hope.” His voice sounded a thousand miles away, like an echo lost to layers of mountain ranges. “It’s my understanding that Faith had dialed 9-1-1 and the assailant fled when he heard the sirens. He led the police on a high-speed chase, but he was killed when he rolled his car during their pursuit. Police have footage from the security camera which identifies him.”

  Silence.

  The silence was deafening.

  “Good. He can never be dead enough.”

  Bryce agreed with a slow nod. He excused himself, asking if he could use her restroom, leaving her to her own thoughts.

  Emotions inundated her heart and body, yet she felt cold and empty inside. The news was too much for her to process and her mind shut down. In a daze, she climbed to her feet, moving aimlessly around the room, pacing like a caged animal. Without thought, she trudged to the wet bar and reached for her faithful companion, a bottle of complimentary cabernet.

  She uncorked the bottle and poured a glass of wine.

  “Hope?” came a soft, yet questioning voice from behind.

  She lifted the glass to her lips as she turned to face Bryce. The fine creases near his temples deepened into a scowl. His stare traveled from the glass in her hand to her midriff, before locking onto her eyes. Hope held out her hands, glaring at the wine bottle in one
and a half-full glass in the other. Perspiration broke across the surface of her skin remembering the life growing inside her.

  “Oh my, God! Oh no, no, no, no,” she cried, tossing the bottle and glass in the sink before they slipped from her weak grasp. “They can’t do this to me. They can’t leave me!”

  “It’s okay. You just forgot, that’s all.”

  Hope folded her arms over her stomach, holding the unborn child inside as she sank to the floor. Clinging to the only piece of her sister she had left, she wept in loud compulsive gasps. Devastation began to sink in, slowly seeping through her soul. Her heart throbbed in dull, painful beats, knowing that the only thing in life that Faith and Riley ever wanted now rested in her hands. Their deepest desires had come true, but it was taken in an instant, leaving her with the one certain thing in life that she never wanted.

  Bryce picked her up like a small child and carried her to her bed. He disappeared into the bathroom and returned moments later with a wet washcloth, gently placing it across her forehead. He stayed with her, sitting at the edge of the mattress, changing the cold cloth every few minutes.

  She questioned wearily, “You know . . . about the baby?”

  “We found out last week.”

  “We?”

  “Riley and Faith announced it to the guys at the station. They couldn’t wait to share the news. That’s one of the reasons I came here, Hope. We don’t want you to go through this alone. We’ll all be here to help you through this. My wife managed to find us two seats on an early flight back to Seattle. If that’s alright with you, then I’ll help you get your things together?”

  Normally, she’d never accept help from anyone, especially out of pity, but at the moment she didn’t have the strength to disagree.

  The trip home was a blur. A nightmare. Numb and disoriented, she pretended to sleep against the window amidst a plane full of holiday travelers. Hope’s world crumbled beneath her feet, leaving her tumbling through an endless feeling of emptiness.

  The Chief drove her home, insisting he take her luggage up the elevator to her loft. Standing at the open door, he again offered his deepest condolences, adding, “We contacted Riley’s sister late last night by phone. I believe she’s the only family he had.”

  Hope nodded. “His parents are both gone.”

  “We offered her assistance with travel expenses and a place to stay, but it didn’t sound like she would be able to take part in planning his funeral. I’ll call again later today to see if there’re any changes in her plans. I’m sure she’s in shock.”

  “Don’t count on it. From what Riley has said in the past, she’s a mess. A drug addict with four kids.”

  Bryce curled his large hands around her shoulders. Lowering his head, he peered into her eyes, speaking in a soft reassuring manner. “It sounds as if she’s not going to be much help for you, Hope. Our Chaplin will be in touch to help you navigate the complexities of arrangements. Please let me know what we can do to help.”

  Hope gazed up at him wearing a blank stare.

  She wanted to scream.

  She wanted to cry.

  She wanted to pound on his chest and tell him to bring her sister back.

  “I’d like to have their services held together. I think that’s most important and it’s what Faith and Riley would both want.”

  “That’s not customary, but I’m certain the Chaplin can arrange a semi-formal service.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured, before closing the door.

  The thin leather strap of her purse slipped from her shoulder sending her purse careening to the hardwood floor as she lugged her listless body to the kitchen. Hope sat at the table, the soundless solitude of the room leaving only the harshness of reality to sink in.

  In the matter of a split second, she’d lost the only family she had to speak of and gained an unborn baby. Hope’s head started to spin, panic speeding through her body. Her exhales came in quick bursts, making her lightheaded and dizzy.

  Drawing slow, deep breaths in and out her nose, Hope counted to five and repeated. Her breath mimicked the rush of the ocean as it passed in and out the passage of her throat.

  A baby.

  A baby that wasn’t even hers.

  A baby that she didn’t want anything to do with.

  What the hell am I going to do with this baby?

  Curling her arms around her stomach, she twisted her neck and laid the side of her face on the cold table. Tears leaked from her eyes, gathering in a slick, wet crease between her cheek and the cold granite slab. Hope stayed that way, simply breathing in and out, watching thick dark clouds move along the city skyline until the ringing of her phone jarred her into reality.

  Unprepared to talk to anyone yet, she struggled to her feet to check the caller ID. Seeing the 405 Oklahoma area code, she begrudgingly forced herself to pick up the receiver. “Hello.”

  “Hope? Hope, is that you?” Hearing her mother’s raspy, panicked voice on the other end of the line made her upset stomach even queasier. “Oh my, God, are you okay?”

  It seemed like such a ridiculous question. “Hello, Mom.”

  “They called me this morning to tell me about Faith and Ryan—”

  “Riley, his name was Riley, not Ryan.” The lack of knowledge regarding anything to do with Faith or her family set her jaw on edge. Hope hadn’t spoken to her mother in years and as far as she was concerned not nearly enough time had passed. “I just got home an hour ago and was getting ready to start making phone calls.”

  “When did you plan on letting me know?”

  “I needed a minute to process.” Hope sighed leaning her back against the wall. Her eyes rolled shut in revulsion. “How did you find out?”

  “This is just so awful. I can’t believe this is happening.” She sniffed, sounding broken up. “A policeman called late last night, woke my Earl up at one o’clock in the morning, and then this morning I got another call from a priest, or a minister or some sort of fireman—”

  “The Chaplin?”

  “Yes, I think so. I don’t know. He told me that he found my number in Faith’s phone. I’ve been calling your phone, but you haven’t answered my calls.”

  “I told you, I just got home. I was in Napa waiting for Faith and—”

  “I’m just so torn up about this, Hope. I haven’t talked to Faith in months—” She paused, taking a long hit off a cigarette. “—and now this happens. It’s such terrible timing.”

  By months her mother meant years. This cannot be happening.

  Hope pictured her mother sitting on a barstool in a short denim skirt, long legs crossed, blonde hair as big as she could tease it, smoking a cigarette, deliberately raising her voice loud enough to gain the attention of every man in the near vicinity. Playing the victim to perfection was her gift.

  “There’s never really a good time for this, is there?”

  “Don’t start, Hope! And don’t use that tone with me. My baby girl is gone! What was she thinking blockading herself like that?” A deep gravelly voice in the background made an effort to calm her mother. “I’m just so devastated that I can’t be there. Earl and I are—”

  “You can’t be here? You mean like tomorrow or for the funeral?” Every hair on her body rose to a fine point and her pulse throbbed beneath the thin pale skin of her wrists.

  “I was trying to tell you before you interrupted, my fiancé Earl has one of the biggest exotic wildlife ranches in all of Oklahoma. Two years ago it was named the best in customer satisfaction in the outdoor industry. Hunters come from all over and we’re full to capacity.”

  Hope zoned out, vaguely aware of her mother’s voice rambling on about emus, elk, feral hogs, and some sort of sheep. The muscle near her right eye twitched in a quick flutter.

  “Mom! I’m not trying to be rude, but I don’t really give two shits about ranching or your new fiancé. I’m assuming the services will be held on Monday. I’ll know more tomorrow. Show up or don’t show up. It’s your decision.�
��

  Her mother turned up the waterworks. “Of course I’m going to try to make it. I have to say goodbye to my baby.”

  “Funny, you weren’t concerned with saying goodbye to your baby when you left us in Colorado.”

  “We’ve moved past that, Hope. Why are you being so mean to me right now? This is one of the worst days of my life.”

  Hope quit giving her mother the benefit of the doubt two decades ago. However, imploding on the woman would only make things worse. This wasn’t the time for a trip down the dysfunctional memory lane.

  “It’s been a long night and I’m exhausted.” She didn’t dare add mention of the pregnancy. “I’ll handle everything here and let you know after the arrangements are made.”

  “What’s your cell phone number so I can get in touch with you easier?”

  “This number works just fine. I use my cell phone for work,” Hope lied before hanging up. No way in hell was she giving her the number.

  There’s no wrong or right way to grieve, someone told her during one of the dozens of phone calls she made. Overcome by heartache and sorrow, Hope struggled to come to terms that her sister wasn’t coming back.

  In public, she put on a strong façade, but in private the empty sadness weighed heavily on her heart. The days that followed were riddled with extreme exhaustion and sudden outbursts of tears triggered by even the smallest memory of Faith’s beautiful smile.

  She’d never felt so alone in her life, yet she wasn’t alone. Hope was now two people. She was now a we. Faith and Riley were gone and there was no place to hide from the child growing inside her. Mercifully, the present state of events left her no time to dwell on the future and the lifelong responsibility she now bore. The only thing saving her from tipping over the edge of utter madness was the necessity to focus on the heavy burden of burying her sister and brother-in-law.

  Bryce left a message stating that he’d made special arrangements to have Faith and Riley’s vehicles taken to the house and their belongings brought inside. Hope expected it to be painful entering their home, but it would’ve been impossible to prepare for the waves of excruciating sadness and despair.